Scenario: Two women, 70 and 67, decide they want to try kayaking for the first time. They sign up for a two-hour Sunset Kayak Tour on Lake Couer d’Alene, with a local adventure team in Couer d’Alene (CDA), Idaho. They negotiate a private tour, knowing they’ll never last two hours. CDA is located 30 miles east of Spokane, Washington, 165 miles northwest of Missoula, Montana and 95 miles south of the Canadian border. The temperature of the lake is cold.
Person A
- Athletic and will be inducted into her university’s Athletic Hall of Fame in October.
- Can also dislodge a rib when sneezing.
- Has had a back fusion and two knee replacements.
- Is prone to painful leg cramps when sitting too long, resulting in rabid wolf-like howling.
- Prefers a diet of cheeseburgers and brats.
- Was motivated to try kayaking by watching the Olympics.
- Listed Person B as an emergency contact not realizing she (B) would likely be the first one air-lifted to the nearest trauma center.
Person B
- Has the athletic prowess of a cat thrown into water – scrappy enough to survive. Is able to maintain the same disposition throughout the day.
- Is allergic to exercising. Symptoms include sweating, a rapid heart rate, and a red face.
- Has mastered a sedentary life.
- Carries her own tube of Biofreeze for the day when she actually pulls a muscle.
- Has practiced getting up from the floor without turning over to her hands and knees. Disappointed kayaks don’t come with ejection seats.
- Addicted to all things pie related – pizza, chicken-pot and blueberry, for example.
- Was motivated to try kayaking when she realized Couer d’Alene would be a nice place to rehab if necessary.
- Listed a sister as emergency contact who lives 1360 miles away. Probably should have listed Person A.
What could possibly go wrong? Stay tuned for Part 2.
Have a wonderful time! You won’t have to deal with rapids or slalom gates!
I would not be able to handle that! Thanks for the reminder.
You two have so much fun! Hope it’s not like cartoons where you both end up in the hospital in body casts!
Thanks. We try to have some fun every now and then.
You make us giggle so much! You will be champions!
I’m glad I make you giggle. That says it all! Thank you.
Can’t wait for the follow-up!
I hope it doesn’t disappoint. Thank you.
Omg! You have me laughing so hard Ms. Person B! I’m with you except I would be gutless to do what you signed up for. Have fun!
The end result? Some of us were just born to quilt, right? Thanks, Marti.
Can’t wait to read the rest of the story!
Thanks, Kathy. It’s there, ready to be read.
Getting up off the floor without rolling over onto your hands and knees is gold medal-worthy in itself, IMHO. Can’t wait for part two!
Oh, and this piece definitely channels your inner Erma, Pam. So funny!
Thanks, Kate, but we both know there will be another Erma!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=92qzZD99cao
You started my day with a good laugh!
Glad to hear that. Thank you.
Omg, this is hilarious! Can’t wait for Part 2!!
High praise from a great humorist. Thank you.
Laughing my butt off!
No, no, not your butt! Thanks, Itura.
Oh, you made my day. Brought a huge ray of sunshine into our cloudy, humid day. Hope this adventure is memorable!
Thanks, Joanne. Yes, it will be memorable for sure.
Ooo, how do you get up by not turning over on your hands and knees? I am positive that there is not a way to do it. If I tried I would be the laff of the day and probably have a million hits. Thanks for the graphic rendition of my downfall, Pam! Please keep writing its my laff for life.
So glad you liked it. And after a certain age, it’s impossible to get up without the hands and knees approach, I am sure.
Always on adventures. You two are hilarious. Oppsites get along so well.
I, too, wait to read the outcome of your adventure.
Thanks, Ellen. Most of our life is relatively ho-hum.
Love this! Kayaking is my least favorite water sport. I’ll take canoeing any day over kayaking. Can’t wait for the second episode. 😂
Man, Teri, I needed this. Everyone loves kayaking, but I believe you are my soul-sister. Thank you.
Can hardly wait to hear about your journey. Reminds me of a time 2 similar persons decided to take kayaks to Pictured Rocks in Lake Superior. Fortunately the original trip was cancelled, unfortunately we signed up for the alternate trip. OMG….I worried the whole trip about how I would ever get back in the kayak. Young leader, weighing in at half of my weight, said don’t worry, we’ve managed it before!!!!! Needless to say, we did return but swore off those type of adventure rides.
Now this made me laugh. You’re right – enough of this adventure stuff. Thanks, Char.
Too funny, and you haven’t even told us the real adventure yet — like getting in and out of the kayak. Can’t wait to hear about it. I’m with the others, maybe a lesson on how to get up without being on your hands and knees would be good for us. Do you have some secret gymnastic moves we don’t know about?
Glad you’re having a good time, and thanks for keeping us in laughs.
Ha, you never knew I was a contortionist, did you? Thanks, Judy.
LOL! If persons A or B fall in the drink, they could claim it was a planned, mid-life baptism….
Thanks Retta. Fortunately, we both emerged unscathed.