Pam Sievers

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It’s all about the toilet paper

by Pam Sievers 2 Comments

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In 1982, I stood on the shores of Loch (Lake) Ness in Scotland, and looked out, searching for the Loch Ness monster. I knew it was a crazy notion. Saturday, I dipped my toes in what can only be called Loch Charmin. I was in search of the elusive toilet paper – just as crazy.

I got up at 5:30, threw on clothes that looked reasonable in the dawning light and placed a cap on my head because that’s as close to doing my hair as I was going to do for a pre-dawn TP run. I made it to my grocery store before 6:00.  I think I was number 13 in line, and social distancing was alive and well. 

I walked a little closer to the door, still keeping my distance, and read the sign. Open at 7 AM. Apparently, they only open at 6 AM on Monday – Thursday.

I am neither an early bird or a line-stander. What was I going to do?

This is what toilet paper anxiety has caused.

This is what pandemic anxiety has caused.

It’s the fear of the unknown, the loss of control, the struggle to stay home and distance ourselves, knowing that carrying on like we want to can (and probably will) be detrimental to not only our health, but others as well.

I retreated Saturday. My plan was to crawl back into bed, but it didn’t work. Instead, I ordered my first bundle of TP from Amazon, and amazingly, it should be here in ten days. I was even willing to take the industrial, one step away from the tree kind that delivers a small splinter with every use. Fortunately, I didn’t have to settle for that.

Then I placed my first online order for groceries. I love to grocery shop, so for me to make that move was big. As it was, I selected the “pick-up” option rather than the delivery. No, toilet paper wasn’t available for my order.

By late morning, and after a good walk, I was ready to flush my anxieties away. Oh, they’ll probably rear their head again, but I’ve relied heavily on my favorite “F” words – forgiveness and faith to get me through. I’m giving lots of people a pass during this time as everyone manages their stress a bit differently, and my faith helps me realize this too shall pass, and we will be okay. The world will be different, and it may take longer than any of us hope, but we will make it.   

So, how are you doing? Seriously, have you been able to manage your physical, and emotional needs since the pandemic has placed most of us in a semi-lockdown state? If you need someone to reach out to you, please type ME in the comment section. Your comment comes only to me, and together, we can figure out some solutions for you. (I approve all comments before they appear to others, and will not make your response public.)

Stay safe my friends, practice social distancing, have faith, and dig deep to forgive when you need to, including yourself. Try not to let irrational emotions clog your drains.

Lastly… my deepest admiration to everyone who is battling this. I won’t start listing jobs and professions because the list would be incomplete, I am sure. But thank you, thank you very much.   

We can do this!

Filed Under: Humor Lite

Comments

  1. Linda johnson says

    at

    First of all, I love having an Erma style writer in my life. Your writing is a beacon…cross between practical and crazy. Next, I want to tell you that we were gifted a roll of toilet paper by my cousin and her husband when they did a drive-by distance call on us. To add to how impressive that is, it says Professional Series on the wrapping. Professional Series, Pam. Top of the line, probably used by, well, I guess I don’t want to think about that! Keep writing, Queen!

    Reply
    • Pam Sievers says

      at

      Thank you for the incredible compliment. I’m honored. But what I realy want to know is what is amateur toilet paper? Appreciate the read and taking the time to comment.

      Reply

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Welcome to my website!


Welcome to my website where my goal was to fill the pages with writing that induces gut wrenching laughs. Since I have no spouse, in-laws, children, grandchildren or pets, I have to work a whole lot harder than most humor writers. Hence, instead you’ll find a blog that features travel, contemplative reflections, and of course some humor – you can’t embrace middle age without it. When not writing, I enjoy quilting, learning about other cultures, and living in the Arizona desert.

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