Unless you’ve been living in the woods for a week, you know the story of Ryan Lochte, 32, and his buds, Jimmy, 26, Jack, 21, and Gunner, 20. And if you are a parent getting ready to send your child off to school, from kindergarten to college, you need to write Ryan a letter of thanks. When is the last time we’ve seen a single situation provide so many defining lessons about decision making and consequences, doing the right thing, and qualities of a friend? He’s made Parenting 101 so much easier by living example, hasn’t he? Let’s review just some of the lessons parents can share.
Lesson 1: Dumb decisions are dumb decisions, and it doesn’t matter what you drank. Admit your own stupidity, immediately, and in your own words. Don’t wait until some PR expert or attorney (or a parent) writes some words for you to release, expressing your heartfelt apology. Feel the mistake, acknowledge it, make the matter better, learn from it, and move on. There isn’t a single person I know who hasn’t regretted some type of stupid decision; just take some responsibility for it.
Lesson 2: Lying is not the solution. Ever. Ryan told the news guy that a gun was put to his head, and all Ryan said was “whatever.” Are you kidding me? You wouldn’t’ be pleading for your life, crying like a baby, begging for mercy, all while realizing you’ve just soiled your pants? Lies catch up with you every time, even after you’ve skipped the country, and think you’re safe.
Lesson 3: Make sure the person you pick as your friend, or the one you’re going to follow, is going to have your back. That’s what friends do for each other. So when you get pulled off a plane or worse yet, can’t leave the country until your parents have figured out how to get $11,000 into your hands, make sure your friend is right there with you, not home eating steak, drinking beer and sleeping in his own bed. Parents, insert your own examples here appropriate for your child, but a person who sticks with you through thick and thin is a true friend. Especially, when Lesson #1 is being learned. Friendship lessons are some of the toughest for school age kids.
Lesson 4: No one likes a cry baby. You might not be the ring leader, but if you find yourself in a situation that you think is wrong, do something about it. If for some reason you can’t escape, at least tell the truth immediately, before someone has to delay your flight. Nobody likes to hear “It was all his fault; he started it.” Come on. This isn’t recess on the playground.
Of course, there are many other lessons in the case. Lost in this are the lessons of hard work and goal setting and making sacrifices to achieve your dreams. Ryan Lochte is a great swimmer, but no one is talking about his talent, only his character. And that may be the best lesson to share with your child, and reason enough to write that thank you letter. Character. It’s that simple.
Pam, I need to share your thoughts with my three sons and their wives, who (as of June 12) are all parents!
Carol, please do! So much to learn from this mess. Feel free to share the FB post and tag them if you want. Thanks for taking the time to read and comment.
All good point, Pam. I have a few nephews who could learn from this.
So how do we help young adult learn this so they don’t have to repeat the same mistakes? A real challenge. Thanks for taking the time to read and comment. I really appreciate it.
Spot on, Pam!! One of the “Wayne-isms” at our house is always, “Don’t make a little problem a big problem.” Recognizing that this never was “little,” he still managed to make it even bigger! I love your take on this.
Oh what a great lesson as well! I’m going to remember that. But you’re right, this was never little, though it could have been. It was really incredible to watch it unfold. Thanks so much for reading and commenting. You know how grateful I am.
Thanks. I’m sharing with my son and daughter-in-law too. Good work
Thank you so much – yes, please share. And thanks so much for reading and commenting. I hope your work is going well.
Great life lessons for children and adults. Once you finish your current book this might be a great subject for another.
Oh man, that is a really high bar! But I sure appreciate the confidence. Thanks for taking the time to read and comment. Always so grateful.
Amen, sister. I will also be sharing this with others.
Thank you so much! Yes, please share. I really appreciate it.
Your comments as always are so on the mark. I believe most politicians could learn the concept of fussing up to our humanness and admit to making mistakes before lying and making everything worse. I thoroughly enjoyed enjoy your articles, can’t wait for your book
Thank you. Though I wrote this with kids in mind, I also considered the lessons for adults. But politicians – that’s a completely different level! Good idea. Thanks for reading and taking the time to comment. As to the book… don’t make plans around it, ok.
As usual, good verbiage and great common sense. You r writing is such a joy to read Pam. You are the Erma Bombeck of our time.
Retta, you are too kind, but thank you. Hardly Erma, but I do enjoy writing and sharing. Thanks for taking the time to read and comment.
You totally nailed it—-great lessons for every parent to teach their children!
Thank you, Marcia. I really appreciate your visit to my blog, and taking the time to comment. Some of those are lessons for us as adults, too, aren’t they.
Pam, wonderful article. Lying makes everything else. Own it. Anyways. And dint be judgemental when others own up to mistakes. We all make them. If Ryan had learned this earlier in life, this lie would not have made the news
Thanks for the feedback. You are so right – it’s how so many of us adults respond and judge lies from children that can either nip it in the bud, or exacerbate the issue. I really appreciate the read and the comment.