I spent nine hours in a surgical waiting room today and if that’s not a lesson in perspective, nothing is. A microcosm of American culture. Young, old, different races and ethnicities, rich, poor and everything in between. This waiting room had five TVs, each turned to a different network, as if to oblige each party. Me? I sat in a quiet corner and observed. That’s what I do. Along with my book, IPad, and knitting, but no need for TV with such interesting characters.
I understood the woman in her late 60’s who couldn’t figure out how to get her phone off of speaker mode. We all learned that she arrivd at 5:30 AM and was tired, but that’s ok, because Evelyn was coming soon. At least she tried to turn her speaker off. But the man who sat there and conducted his business for all to hear? No respect there.
A few seats away, an older man didn’t hear the waiting room-issued pager going off until another visitor alerted him. He was happy he could go back and see the missus. I was quite empathetic. That could be any of us in time.
Toddlers scampered from their mothers and grandmothers and maybe aunties, and I was mindful I’ve never had to be concerned about childcare. Yet hauling an active two year old around the hospital is a benefit to no one. I felt sorry for the children. And their mothers.
But what surprised me the most was discovering that hospital waiting rooms have now become popular locations for family reunions. Seriously. From the time I arrived in the waiting room this morning to the time I left, it was occupied by one large family (10-14 people) after another.
Now I get it, sort of. Dad has surgery, and mom is there with her adult children and their spouses and then the adult grandchildren start showing up with their children. But please, was it necessary to take over a couple of tables and set up their own buffet with food someone brought in from McDonald’s? (Unless they invited me of course.) At one point, I feared one family was ready to light the grill and start pouring their favorite adult beverages. Right amongst people who had not eaten since midnight.
I suppose it all goes back to the family’s culture as I have friends who come from these families and it would be the expectation that they all show up. But this is not how the Sievers roll, so I find it quite foreign.
It wasn’t until I walked outside, felt the sun on my face and filled my lungs from some fresh air that I felt better. And was grateful that I wasn’t the one having surgery. My patient did well and in a couple of days, will be home. And if that’s true for the others, that should be my only concern.
Wow, I knew there was a blog in the works yesterday! You are a great observer. Glad your patient is doing well.
Thanks Adrian.
Good observations Pam. Of course this is not a place no one WANTS to be, but good that you were there for Kathy.
My family would be the one you described. Comfort in numbers, I suppose, and certainly the expectation to show up. We would, however, have offered everyone chicken mcnuggets and fries. Hope Kathy’s recovery goes well. Hugs.
Thanks Marge. I think because we never lived near other family members and I don’t now, the expectation isn’t there. I do love that you would have shared the nuggets.
Happy to hear that Kathy is doing well! Your description called to mind the experience my middle son had a number of years ago. He was dating a Hispanic girl in the Denver area, and her sister was about to deliver her first baby. Family reunion time (Dean included!) in the waiting room.
Exactly! Glad you enjoyed the post. Thanks Carol.
Unless they let dogs in the waiting room, mine would be a sparse turnout with my son (I hope – geez!) glued to his iPhone. Grateful for son and dogs, nevertheless! Glad all went well with Kathy!
Guess what? I just read the hospital’s visiting pet policy! I’d have a sparse audience as well and that would probably be just fine with me. Thanks for the comment.
Surgical waiting rooms can make the best theater! Thanks for sharing Pam.
Great visual – what a stage! Thanks for the comment.
You are right about people watching in hospitals My brother in law in CA was in a hospital located in the midst of the strawberry fields. There were large signs all over that afternoons at hospitals are rest times for patients and no visitors were permitted from 12-4 or some such hours. The lights in the hallways, waiting rooms, etc were turned off as well as all tv’s, public address systems, etc. All the shades and drapes were pulled. It was quiet and dark and it was mainly to control the family reunions you describe. I thought it was a great idea for all hospitals and I still think strict visiting hours are a good idea. Some people have no sense that the patient is uncomfortable and they will hang around for hours. Good job.
Thanks Margaret. These days if short stays remind me people who are here really need their rest. I agree – there should be hours. How do we expect the medical teams to care for our patients?
If it was me as the patient, I probably wouldn’t care what someone had to endure in the waiting room as long as they weren’t in my room.
I have sent long hours as a pastor in waiting rooms. Usually I tried to get a little professional advantage and get back to visit and get out.
Other times, I waited WITH the family members.
Wasn’t there a dining room the family could have set up the buffet in?
You’re a real pal.
Uh oh. I didn’t really mean to complain as much as I must have. I was just passing in my observations and lessons.
Hospitals are second only to airports for people watching. Great blog, and glad she’s doing well!
Thanks Lori. Fortunately, I’ve not needed to spend a lot of time hanging around a hospital either personally or with others.
Oh boy, that doesn’t sound very good, but it did make for a great blog. Easy pickins for a subject this time. Hospitals have changed so much. I can see the Sievers family 30+ years ago all sitting in a neat quiet row waiting for news of Dad’s surgery. Did we ever even leave our chairs?
Glad to hear all went well with Kathy and she’s doing ok.
We just spent time at U of M Hospital with our mom having facial/bone cancer surgery and while we were waiting for her 10 hour surgery to be completed we met some amazing families. Our mom is also a Kidney transplant survivor and we met wonderful families just beginning their lives with a new kidney. It was fun to see their excitement and nerves. We so badly wanted to encourage them, hold them and hug them with joy and still give them some privacy as they waited for their family member. We wanted to tell them to hear about the gift we had received – Our mom has celebrated 12 years with her new kidney so far!
There are so many stories to hear with the people in the waiting rooms of hospitals all around the country. Some wonderful, some sad and many in between. Thanks for sharing your story with us!
I think you hit the nail on the head. Waiting rooms are an anxious place. Some are facing dread, others joy. I hope your mother’s surgery went well.