I’m so content, I could cry. This past week, I celebrated my birthday with a fabulous dinner in my beautiful home, and even treated myself to a pedicure which left me feeling invigorated. Later in the week, I went out to eat in a favorite restaurant, and finally enjoyed a refreshing dip in our community pool. What a life. What joy.
Yet, also happening this week:
Christian Cooper, a bird-watching enthusiast, asked a woman in New York City’s Central Park to leash her dog. She responded by calling the police, fabricating the truth and claiming his behavior was threatening. The audacity of him to ask her to follow park rules.
George Floyd tried to pay for groceries with a fake $20 bill, one of the most heinous crimes in modern culture, right? Of course, he should be murdered by police in public. Makes sense, doesn’t it?
Earlier in May, Ahmaud Aubrey was jogging down a Georgia neighborhood street when a father and his son looking for vigilante justice killed him. They thought he might be a burglar, and after all, they were just making a citizen’s arrest. It didn’t matter the man was unarmed, and there was no proof of criminal behavior.
In the eyes of their accusers, Cooper, Floyd and Aubrey were all guilty of the same crime. They were black men.
And I’m so content, I could cry, because I don’t know what to do.
I’ve contacted both my senators and my congresswoman, expressing my concerns about our national leadership, and to support legislation that addresses hate crimes. And beyond that, I don’t know what to do to help right the wrongs.
Though I feel our president is morally corrupt, emotionally disengaged and mentally unhinged, I’m not blaming him for these atrocities. However, he is the leader who has hung the bunting on the stage of disrespect, which has empowered people to act beyond reason.
I’m a post-middle age white woman living in Arizona, transplanted from the upper Midwest. I can’t change what I am. But I can change who I am. I am tired of looking at memes on Facebook that are meant to heal, and reading inspirational quotes from Martin Luther King, Jr., Mother Teresa, and Brene Brown, and listening to uplifting songs of peace.
I am so content, I could cry. And maybe, that’s where I start. I just don’t know what to do.
Thank you , i think I’ve been speechless so thanking for saying was I am feeling.
Imagine – both of us speechless, yet we are. It’s such an unimaginable time. Thanks for the read and the response. I really appreciate it.
Well said. I am sad, mad, frustrated, and just shaking my head.
So many of us are all just stunned, I think. Thank you for the read and the comment.
Masterful comments.
Wow – that’s quite a compliment. Thank you.
Thank you, Pam, for capturing what a lot of us feel. Calling elected officials at all levels is a great step. Calling out racist behavior when we see it is another.
I’m glad life is treating you well in that oven in which you live.❤️❤️
Thank you, Beth, and yes, a great example of something we should all be doing. Appreciate the read and taking the time to reply.
Oh, Pam. Beautifully said. Heartfelt, and heartbreaking. Right there with you, my friend.
Thanks, Kate. Lots of us in this together, I think.
Dearest Pam, this is beautifully written. I cry alongside you. May I share this blog post with St Michael’s? We are starting a course on race and faith, and your words would be helpful.
Absolutely, it would be an honor, especially in the spirit of personal introspection. Thank you for your kind words.
We are all breathless and speechless in this storm, where each of our boats are so different. Thanks, Pam
Phyllis, breathless, speechless, hollow, numb… Thank you for taking the time to read and respond.
Eliminating racism has been the hardest nut to crack in America, despite the sense of despair it leaves in its wake. Calling out white nationalism for what it is would be one step. Calling our legislators is another. Defeating all those who condone injustice is another. Let’s start by voicing our objection at the polls in November. May Arizona turn Blue, a long with the US Senate and White House. Only then can we begin to regain our historical international reputation for justice and equality.
Thank you for your response, Barb. Good points, all the way around.
Well said! You truly do capture what so many of us are feeling. I too do not know what can help this country with its rampant racism at this time. I do feel that man in the White House has encouraged racism and has done nothing to help. He just sows more problems of all kinds. Since his party has done nothing to restrain him, they are complicit as well.
We can only hope the Blue Wave changes much of this in November. I can’t imagine women and minorities continuing to vote against their own self-interest.
Thanks for your response, Christy. I agree so much about his legislative supporters being complicit – that was part of my communications to my senator and representative. “I can’t imagine women and minorities continuing to vote against their own self-interest.” Excellent point.
Part of the answer is external and involves the very thing you mentioned regarding our political leadership — and more. Yes, our national leaders set the tone for the country and they’re failing at the moment. But, it’s local governments that control our police departments and other government services and we have to make sure we’re electing people to city and county leadership that recognize the problems and work to solve them.
Then, we need to look in ourselves and honestly answer if we’re contributing to the racial divide in this country and commit to doing better. Be the change we want to see.
I agree – we can have more influence at the local level. And yes, we can always ask ourselves if we are part of the problem or part of the solution. Thanks for responding.
WE must believe WE Can change this!
Your words are powerful.
Thank you. Everyone can play a role.
Thanks, Pam. You’ve articulated well the feelings of helplessness and sorrow that surround many of us now.
Thank you for the read and taking the time to comment. It’s a collective grief, I think.
In some respects, it is ok to be contented, we all need it. There is no reason to cry. You ended your piece with “I don’t know what to do.” My advice, keep doing what you are doing — making masks for those who need them during the pandemic, making quilts to comfort those who are suffering from cancer, or their loved ones who need a comforting touch too. Making quilts for our veterans, a sign of respect and appreciation for their service. These are all acts of love. As you said in your last piece, “quilt-making-soothes-my-soul.” If that isn’t contentment… And you vote.
“Let the world be better for your having lived in it, in every way, in every manner.”
Edgar Cayce
Sad to say that it will take another generation or so for these bigoted folks to die out. The younger generations, especially school-aged children ,seem to be much more accepting of people of different races. And, keep speaking out whenever you see/hear bigoted behavior. The strongest voice will be your vote in November and once the election is over, let them know when they don’t live up to the campaign rhetoric.
Thank you, Joanne, and I hope you are right. I also think holding our leaders responsible at all levels of government and organizational development to be sensitive and inclusionary is critical.
I agree. Most successful changes start at the local level and most people have the most contact with their local communities. However, what happens at the national level sets the tone, and the current tone isn’t a good one.
Joanne, I am so sorry for the delayed response. You are absolutely right 0 most changes start local and that’s where we can have the greatest impact. But it’s the national news that grabs our attention the most.