Thanksgiving is just a few days away and begins the month-long tradition of holiday celebrations. Typically fun, joyous occasions for many people, even the most irritable in the crowd find reasons to enjoy. But this year, for families and individuals following coronavirus protocol, expectations are challenging.
As a result, this has become a time of increased anxiety and sadness for many people. I hear it in their voices and read about it on their social media posts. This has hit my family as well. “I’m having a hard time because I don’t know if I’m going to be able to get back home” a niece recently told me. Her younger sister echoed the same sentiments.
Across the country, festive dinners for 30 have now been replaced by quiet evening meals for two or three, or maybe one. Cuddling with grandchildren won’t happen, cousins won’t play with each other, and friends can’t gather to raise a glass of good cheer. Holiday traditions have been put on pause.
And it’s okay to feel sad.
You don’t need me to tell you this – I get that. For years, the month between Thanksgiving and Christmas was the saddest time of my year. Traveling to rural Wisconsin in late December was always dicey, time off from work wasn’t always available, and I usually stayed in Michigan to celebrate with my aunt. I was lucky there were two of us, so I know how to cook a celebratory meal for two. (And more creative ways to use leftover turkey than you can imagine.) But I still missed being with my sisters and nieces and nephews, and all the holiday hoopla that surrounds this time of year. That’s what makes this month so special, isn’t it? All of the traditions fill your heart and soul and keep you toasty warm during the long Midwest winters. And this year, whether it’s Thanksgiving, Hanukkah, or Christmas, those traditions will be missing for many.
Instead, your favorite holiday songs may make you cry. Decorations may not be as elaborate. Virtual hugs will be shared through Facetime and Zoom, but you’ll miss wiping up sticky fingerprints left by over-sugared children, or listening to your grandmother tell stories of her childhood, in a voice so low, you have to strain to hear it.
And it’s okay to feel sad.
I marvel at how people are making creative alternate opportunities this year. Drive-up dinners, home-baked pies for everyone on their list, and a Christmas dinner made on the grill for a backyard winter picnic. Some folks are planning with their distant families to binge-watch the same shows. It won’t be the same, but maybe new traditions will even be born from it. (I also marvel at the people who are jumping up and down for joy because they don’t have to travel, or listen to Uncle Ned’s off-color jokes when he’s had too much egg-nog, or decide how to divide themselves between multiple family visits, but that’s another story.)
Yes, there are likely people who have it much worse off than you do, but if the sadness gets to you, don’t play the guilt trip. Allow yourself to spend one day moping and feeling down, but only one day. Then plan something uplifting for the next day. And the day after that, and the day after that. Wrap yourself in a blanket of love knowing you have people to miss, and start planning next year’s celebrations. Just allow yourself the feeling of no-guilt sadness – this too shall pass.
You are a fountain of good advice and good cheer, my friend.
Thank you, Adrian. I’m glad you enjoyed the message.
That was lovely, Pam. I think I’m having my “down day” today and I needed this.
Glad to hear this spoke to you, my friend. Hang tight. Thanks for commenting.
Nicely done, Pam. I am sad that I won’t see my son and family who we see only at Christmas every year, and that new grandbaby that I want to hold. But, it is what it is. And I am grateful that we are still all safe and healthy. My heart goes out to those who will be dealing with the holidays missing the ones who passed this year from this horrible virus.
Thank you, Joanne, for reading and responding. I’m sorry you’ll be missing your family gathering as well. Think of how special it will be when it happens.
Thank you, Pam!!
And thank you for taking the time to read and comment. Glad you liked this post.
So well said and advice needed by many of us. it’s been a roller coaster year and season. Christmas tree going up earlier — we need the festive joy of lights it brings and the warmth to our collective community hearts.
Thanks, Judy. Good idea to fill our lives with more lights this season.
Well written Pam! Thank you.
For some reason I want to rename this “ Hello sadness my old friend”
But you are right! This too shall pass! We all just have to hang in there. We also need to count our blessings compared to so many throughout the world!
Really as long as we have a roof over our head our health and food on the table we should be happy as there are so many that have so much less.
Love and many blessings to you and your readers! 💖💞💗💓
Thank you, Sharon. This could have had many titles. Fortunately for me, sadness during the season is not a visitor for me anymore.
Well said! We are missing our annual trip to California for Thanksgiving. We will be missing our 4 grandsons and all their commotion. Will miss decorating the Christmas tree with them. We are grateful that all of us are healthy but we still miss our traditions. It is sad, but we look forward to being together again soon.
Thank you, Kathy. Yes, this year is so topsy-turvy. Hope you will be reunited soon.
Always a pleasure!
Thank you, Linda.
You’re right that people don’t need to be told that is okay to be sad, but it’s nice to be reminded by a good friend. I’m always a bit sad at this time of the year. I miss the holidays of the past…when I was young and when my boys were young. I dint get morose, just a bit sad. I’ve learned that whatever feelings I have is fine, and I wait for them to pass. Enjoyed this read!!
Thank you, Teri. Our feelings are real, whatever they are.