Why is it so hard to let go of stuff? I’m in the midst of preparing for a move across the country which will result in some major lifestyle changes as well. Example? Good-bye snow boots, hello flip-flops. The move is scheduled for mid-July and fortunately, I started packing weeks ago. Some stuff is easy, and the decision between packing, recycling, donating or tossing is simple.
But it’s also easy to get hung up on decisions. And second guess. And wrangle your hands. And lose sleep. Why? Because breaking up is hard to do.
My siblings have given me “permission” to unload some family items I have held onto for decades. No one, including cousins, wants Grandma’s candlewick dishes, I get it. The hand-tatted lace she made? The worn out, shabby baby-quilt? The sherbet/ champagne glasses?
An old-soul like me can’t just wrap up and get rid of that stuff.
But what about items that have no sentimental value? I have hauled stuff to the recycling center only to bring it back home. A sweater in the donation pile is back in my closet.
Today’s item was a small suitcase – carry-on size. It was headed to our largest children’s home where they can always use suitcases and duffel bags of any size for when their kids go on home visits, and I knew it would be welcomed and put to good use.
I hauled it from the basement a couple of days ago and let it sit. Today, I got it to the driveway and in a flash, memories of the places it had been came flooding back. Remember when…Before I knew it, I was making pad thai at a cooking class in Thailand, touring the DMZ in Korea, strolling along the Seine in Paris… you get the idea.
At times, I have one foot in my parent’s generation – if it still has purpose, keep it. I bought the suitcase when I moved to Japan and though still useable, it is not as reliable for what I need, and a few years ago, I replaced it. It has sat unused since, yet, I couldn’t let it go today.
This is the lesson I’ve learned in this moving process. You’ll know when the time is right to break up. Today, I was lost in Think(ing) of all that we’ve been through and breaking up is hard to do, and I couldn’t let go.
Sometime within the next month, that suitcase will be available for a child going to visit their new foster family, and the memories they’ll create will be… wait, I think the timing just got right. Tomorrow, I’m dropping that suitcase off and let it start its second life. Maybe it will help a child as they go through a major life change, too.
I can so relate! We moved last summer, and I really had to remind myself I’m not the anti-materialist I’d like to think I am. Best of luck in continuing sorting, donating, and tossing – excited for you for your journey!
You hit the nail on the head! Just when you think you are really streamlining your consumer habits and tendencies, you discover crazy things you just have to have. Thanks, Mel.
This is so beautiful, so true. I feel the yearning and the tension between here and there. When we sold our house and nearly everything in it, eventually it was freeing and I couldn’t wait to dump everything. Since then, I have inherited the sherbet/champagne glasses and the china and the knickknacks and bobbles. I am not ready yet. Breaking up is hard to do. Until it isn’t. Good luck and God bless
Sandy, thank you so much. There is always a right time, and then there is no looking back, but until then…
The next move or downsize or whatever, will be even easier. As long as you don’t replace everything you’ve broken up with. Leave only footprints. Take only memories. Leave only smiles. Take only what is necessary.
Thanks, Carol. You are probably the queen of this but it’s not that easy for everyone. I’ve moved quite a bit, and everyone has its own challenges.
Thoughtful, as always, and thought provoking. I can’t imagine the hours I’ll spend realizing that no will want the scrapbook my grandmother kept of Dad’s sports achievements in high school. At least the sets of china we have can be put to good use….moving will happen, just don’t know when yet.
PS I’ll miss you!
Thank you, Phyllis, on all levels. And for the record, I’m moving those very same scrapbooks, even though the pages are falling apart. There’s something special about scrapbooks, isn’t there?
I feel your pain! Having recently been through the same “breaking up”. Since we didn’t move quite so far I was able to hang on to some things and will go through again as I unpack. Today I found the perfect spot for a picture I donated. Regret! Oh, well, there will be another garage sale I’m sure. Think of all the fun you will have finding new items to fill your new space, always keeping in mind that another move my loom in your future. Good luck in your new home. Hope you will still find the time to write your blog and help us explore new adventures with you.
You will always have these grand memories from these items. I heard of a research study today that men keep more
“Old treasures “ than women. While difficult to pass on items of significance, I like your statement that now a new child or person will make new adventures with these items.
Boy, does this one hit me. How have I managed to accumulate so much? Will you think less of me to know that there are unpacked boxes downstairs from the move into this house? No? Perhaps I should have mentioned that that was in 1997. Since a move is in the future, complete with a house with no basement, panic is ever-so-slightly creeping into my present. Yup, breaking up is hard to do. And by the way, I think candlewick is lovely.
Ha! No, I won’t think any less of you. I’d suggest setting goals and making a pact with your siblings for dealing with family stuff. If that doesn’t work, call me! Thanks for the read and the comment.
Don’t you sometimes feel like you have a sentimental attachment of some kind to EVERYTHING? Our biggest albatross is the thousand pound plus Victorian piano that belonged to my Aunt Kathleen (and the fact that I am named for her is only part of the attachment!) We have moved it twice, but I am pretty sure that Wayne and our kids would be happy to just sell it with the house. Happy wonder-filled days to you in your new adventure. ?
Oh my… you just put a 12 year old suitcase in perspective. Good luck with that decision! Thanks for reading and taking time to comment.
Our family is now cleaning out my mom’s home and trying to eliminate at our house. I love when we can find a new home for our treasures!
Keep up the good work and we will follow your example!
Your loss is so fresh. Take your time, but yes, when you have a new home for something, it is exciting. Thanks for reading and commenting.
Hi Pam, sure will miss you! I love reading your posts or listening to car kareoke.
I have been giving away things that I think someone else could use or make memories with as well.
It is amazing to me how I hold onto some things for sentimental reasons as well.
We are a practical generation. Sometimes it doesn’t matter , if there is still a use, we think we need it.
In reality how many things does one need?
Take care my friend and stay in touch.
Julie
Thank you Julie… for the read, the comment, and the very kind words. I will continue to post away, and who knows? The karaoke may not be dead.
Looks like there a lot of us in the same situation. Today I took several boxes of clothing and stuff to Goodwill. I only pulled one item out at the last minute – an antique spoon. I feel better about the donations, and am glad to have a bit more space back.